The Connection Most Couples Miss

Connection - a word with many meanings, but I’m not talking wifi baby! The word connection is super close to mine and my husband’s hearts, and to a myriad of couples who have studied with us over the years. Let me define it first, then I’ll tell you why it’s so important.

Connection is the silent, subtle, and non-verbal language of lead and follow.

Yes, we mean connection as it relates to the world of partnership dance. Now if you’re not a natural dance enthusiast don’t stop here, because most of our couples aren’t either, yet they’re the ones who benefit the most from experiencing connection in their relationships, both on and off the dance floor. And most couples don’t even realize they’re missing an entire form of communication that can deepen and strengthen their relationships. 

After all, dancing in the arms of the one you love is really about feeling all the feels, honoring the tradition of romance, and whispering sweet nothings as you feel your partner’s heartbeat align with yours. For most couples who dance, it’s NOT about fancy dance steps.

So here’s the funny thing we’ve observed after 15 years of teaching partnership dance… Most dance programs teach A LOT of dance steps and NOT A LOT of the stuff that ups the ante in the love department. Ya know, that thing we call connection. 

No shade to all the dancers, teachers, and students out there. If you’re dancing, I’m happy for you! But it is my responsibility as a teacher and a passionate dance partner myself to make sure that couples who desire to dance together are getting the thing they came for. Connection.

Connection is the foundation, and I often refer to it as magical. Yes, that’s cheesy I know, but I truly appreciate romance. And it is magical, it’s invisible, rarely seen but felt with certainty. 

So on top of a solid foundation (i.e. a couples understanding and practice of connection), beauty, individuality, and expression come to form. This is where dance steps are learned! And with a good foundation couples can shine, creating a ‘dance floor conversation’ that’s completely unique to them. Without words of course.

At this point my husband and I can read each other’s minds on the dance floor, but we actually don’t have to.

I can feel his every intention through his spine, the transfer of weight in his feet, the energy from his fingertips. Every move he makes is a message, conveying mood, direction and speed. 

I literally feel like we have a super power, and it’s just so much fun that I crave sharing it with other couples, to help them get to that level where touch says so much. 

I could write a book, maybe I will. But today I’ll leave you with this…

This evening touch your partner in the subtlest of ways, but with massive intention. Then observe.

If you want to experience that connection I’m raving about, then check out Dance Dates - a series of 4 at home date nights where you’ll learn the language of connection + 12 dance moves you can use to create your own ‘conversation on the dance floor.’

Thanks for sharing your eyes, ears, and hearts with me.